TMZ— “The famous Bunny Ranch brothel, from HBO’s ‘Cathouse,’ had a brush with death when a guy slammed a semitruck right through the front door … in full view of surveillance cams.
The scary incident went down around 4 AM Thursday, and the video shows the 18-wheeler first slam through the front gate at full speed … then plow through the Ranch’s front door.
Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof tells us the man was wearing full body armor, including a mask and helmet. It’s unknown why he targeted the brothel. Hof says he doesn’t recognize the guy as a previous customer.
The Lyon County Sheriff’s Dept tells us the driver is in custody, and they believe he’s a disgruntled employee of the trucking company. Although the brothel was open at the time … no one inside was hurt.
Even with the massive hole … the Ranch will be wide open for biz. Hof says they’ll serve free drinks for the inconvenience. Cops are still searching the truck, which Hof says is full of Amazon packages. Looks like some Prime customers are gonna be pissed … along with some hookers.”
Not the best day to be a Bunny Ranch customer. You go in there, expecting to take a load of two off, and then out of nowhere some asshole in an 18-Wheeler tries to one up everyone with a grand entrance. Initially, I thought this was Lamar Odom coming in hot to let everyone at the Bunny Ranch know that their favorite customer was home. I assumed the 18-Wheeler was packed to the brim with KFC, sugar free Red Bull, the same delicacies he had to have in his suite when he last stayed.
Turns out, it wasn’t Lamar Odom after all, but some disgruntled trucker. Wild idea to really show the trucking company who’s boss. Why wouldn’t you just steal a bunch of the shit from Amazon in the truck and be on your way? And if he was disgruntled, did he not realize he was going to a goddamn brothel, a place where you can alleviate some stress? It doesn’t matter how ugly or disgusting you are, these women will have sex with you. I’m sure if he would’ve looked in the back of his truck, he could’ve found a couple of dildo’s to barter with if he couldn’t come up with the cash.
This may not be a bad time for Mark Davis to throw down some seed money to renovate the joint, it’s obviously a can’t miss opportunity. I don’t think he would even need to throw down that much loot either, because owner Dennis Hof says the Ranch will continue to be open for business. Better yet, they’ll be giving out free drinks to accommodate the fact that there’s a massive fucking hole in the side of the building.
So if you’ve been planning a nice little getaway to America’s favorite brothel, I suggest striking while the iron is hot. Sure you might end up having sex in a room with a wide open view of the highway, but if things get hot and heavy, you’ll get a nice, natural breeze blowing through your hair. Not to mention there’s no better feeling than sucking down an ice cold brew that was originally $14.99 for the free, you just can’t beat it.
I just really hope that Lamar Odom doesn’t get wind of this, because if he goes back there, we may never see him again.