Ex-Penn State Officials Get Off Easy, Will Spend 3 Months In Jail

Source“Three former Penn State officials are getting jail time for failing to report convicted sexual predator Jerry Sandusky to authorities.

Former Penn State president Graham Spanier and former vice president Gary Schultz will have to spend two months in jail. Former athletic director Tim Curley will spend three months in jail. The rest of their sentences will be served in house arrest.

Spanier, who received a sentence of 4 to 12 months, plans to appeal. Curley received a sentence of 7 to 23 months, and Schultz was sentenced to 6 to 23 months. All three were also fined and ordered to perform community service.

Spanier was found guilty of one count of misdemeanor child endangerment, while Curley and Schultz pleaded guilty to endangering the welfare of children.”

 

What a fucking joke this is. These three assholes were complicit in the biggest scandal in college football history, and they get off with less than a slap on the wrist. Absolutely boggles my mind that is where it ends. Not to mention I’m sure they’ll do their time in some white collar prison playing polo and drinking iced tea. Apparently if you have a good legal team you can cover up whatever the fuck you want with virtually no consequences. I’m sure these pieces of shit have talked themselves into thinking that there was nothing they could do to stop what Sandusky was doing, even though everyone with a pea brain knows that’s a steaming pile of horseshit.

 

If there is any justice in the world, all three of these guys will land in a cell block with a CO like Big Bob from Harold and Kumar.

Sickening that all these families don’t get the satisfaction of seeing these guys rot in jail for the rest of their lives. Serve 3 months in some cushy ass prison followed by a couple of months on house arrest; it makes no sense. Don’t know how someone who was arrested for having a quarter sack of chron has to do the same amount of community service as a couple of guys who aided and abetted a serial child molester, alas that’s the world we live in. My only hope is that these three scumbags are served piping hot cockmeat sandwiches for every meal during their stay in the clink.

ICYMI: 18 Year Old Gets Felony Robbery Charges For Filling Water Cup With Soda At McDonald’s

Source—  (NEWSER) – An Arkansas man is facing felony charges after allegedly filling his free water cup with not-free soda Monday at a McDonald’s in Springdale, KHBS/KHOG reports. Police say 18-year-old Cody Morris and two others drove through the McDonald’s drive-thru and ordered three large waters. They then parked, went into the restaurant, dumped out the water, and allegedly filled the cups with soda.

Morris’ accomplices returned their ill-gotten sodas when pressed by a manager, but Morris allegedly refused. That’s when the manager decided to stand behind the group’s car to prevent them from leaving. At this point it’s worth noting that—as Raw Story reports—a large soda at McDonald’s costs only $1.49 and comes with free refills.

Police say the group’s car reversed into the McDonald’s manager, who was then hit by the car a second time when he reached through the window to try to pull the keys from the ignition. The car drove off, and the manager called police. Officers found the car and Morris at a bowling alley, and he was arrested on suspicion of felony robbery. (Allegedly hitting the manager with the car is what presumably elevated the charges.)

 

Don’t know how I never heard about this. It’s been awhile since in happened, but this one hits close to home. For a period of time in high school, I obtained the moniker of “The Soda Pop Bandit,” for dastardly acts very similar to these, so I can’t throw stones at this kid. However, his technique was dog shit. Getting three glasses from the drive-thru and then going inside to fill them up? What kind of bozo move is that? You go inside, get a McChicken and a water, then fill it up with whatever the fuck you want and employees will be none the wiser. Most McDonald’s fountain machines aren’t even in clear sight of the counter, which is why I would guess this happens over 50,000 times a day at McD’s across the US. I will say, I haven’t encountered too many hardo McDonald’s managers who are willing to get railroaded by a vehicle (twice) in order to make sure that $1.49 finds its way into the cash register safely, but it’s good to know there are still some of them out there.

 

I don’t know, I guess you could make the argument that a McDonald’s in Arkansas is comparable to eating at Ruth’s Chris or something like it, but I still don’t think I’d be willing to die to stop a kid from drinking 18 oz. of Orange Hi-C. We’ll see what kind of enforcement Indianapolis restaurants use to deter soda thieves, because I plan on seeing this week if I still have as light of a touch as I used to. Hard to top the rush of filling a plastic see through cup with Coke for all to see, it’s the epitome of living life on the edge.

Jerry Springer Is Eventually Going To Be The Governor Of Ohio

Business Insider“Influential Ohio Democrats are pushing former Cincinnati mayor and daytime-TV host Jerry Springer to run for Ohio governor in 2018, more than half a dozen Democrats familiar with the race told Business Insider.

Many said Springer, who sought the Democratic nomination for governor of Ohio in 1982 and remains active in state politics, could be a good fit for the current political climate.

Springer’s proponents have highlighted his ability in the era of President Donald Trump to provide his own funding for a campaign and to connect with working-class voters familiar with his television show and history in Ohio politics.

Those discussing a possible run with the talk-show host include Ted Strickland, the former Ohio governor who ran for Senate last year, said Tim Burke, the Hamilton County Democratic Party chairman. And several Democrats said recent conversations with Springer, as well as his schedule, suggested he seemed to be more seriously interested in running this time than in years past.

Hamilton County is home to Cincinnati, where Springer served as mayor in the late 1970s.”

Lets. Go. I’m all in on Jerry Springer running for governor of Ohio, and newsflash: he’s going to win. People forget he used to be the mayor of Cincinnati. We’re not talking about some bumfuck town in Iowa here, but a booming metropolis in the Heartland. From what I understand, you have to have major political clout to become the mayor. I’m sure he doesn’t know what issues he’ll run on, but I’m not worried, I know he’ll have ironclad policies in place by the time he announces he’s running.

If he could handle the amount of scumbags that came through the set of his show, I have no doubts he could run an entire state. Middle America needs a nice little jolt of electricity into the veins, and what better way that turning every event Springer is at into  a redneck/hick booze fest. Can you imagine the viral footage that would come from those events… it makes me giddy.

He’ll also have a great opportunity to select from a fine group of advisors to run his campaign. A few suggestions:

Jimmy could help work out policies related to premium cable and high speed internet, sounds like he’s got a pretty sweet gig in place.

Every campaign needs a fall guy to eat a punch or take a massive slap to the face.

Dusty runs the PR no question. The spin he gives on hooking up with someone with no teeth is legendary.

 

This is happening, folks. Might as well get comfortable with it, because I think we all know who we’re gonna see on the ticket running for President in 2020. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!

 

 

PS: His potential running mate…..?
Celebrity Sightings In New York City - December 6, 2012

18-Wheeler Barrels Through Front Gate of Bunny Ranch

TMZ— “The famous Bunny Ranch brothel, from HBO’s ‘Cathouse,’ had a brush with death when a guy slammed a semitruck right through the front door … in full view of surveillance cams.

The scary incident went down around 4 AM Thursday, and the video shows the 18-wheeler first slam through the front gate at full speed … then plow through the Ranch’s front door.

Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof tells us the man was wearing full body armor, including a mask and helmet. It’s unknown why he targeted the brothel. Hof says he doesn’t recognize the guy as a previous customer.

The Lyon County Sheriff’s Dept tells us the driver is in custody, and they believe he’s a disgruntled employee of the trucking company. Although the brothel was open at the time … no one inside was hurt.

Even with the massive hole … the Ranch will be wide open for biz. Hof says they’ll serve free drinks for the inconvenience. Cops are still searching the truck, which Hof says is full of Amazon packages. Looks like some Prime customers are gonna be pissed … along with some hookers.”

 

Not the best day to be a Bunny Ranch customer. You go in there, expecting to take a load of two off, and then out of nowhere some asshole in an 18-Wheeler tries to one up everyone with a grand entrance. Initially, I thought this was Lamar Odom coming in hot to let everyone at the Bunny Ranch know that their favorite customer was home. I assumed the 18-Wheeler was packed to the brim with KFC, sugar free Red Bull, the same delicacies he had to have in his suite when he last stayed.

 

Turns out, it wasn’t Lamar Odom after all, but some disgruntled trucker. Wild idea to really show the trucking company who’s boss. Why wouldn’t you just steal a bunch of the shit from Amazon in the truck and be on your way? And if he was disgruntled, did he not realize he was going to a goddamn brothel, a place where you can alleviate some stress? It doesn’t matter how ugly or disgusting you are, these women will have sex with you. I’m sure if he would’ve looked in the back of his truck, he could’ve found a couple of dildo’s to barter with if he couldn’t come up with the cash.

 

This may not be a bad time for Mark Davis to throw down some seed money to renovate the joint, it’s obviously a can’t miss opportunity. I don’t think he would even need to throw down that much loot either, because owner Dennis Hof says the Ranch will continue to be open for business. Better yet, they’ll be giving out free drinks to accommodate the fact that there’s a massive fucking hole in the side of the building.

 

So if you’ve been planning a nice little getaway to America’s favorite brothel, I suggest striking while the iron is hot. Sure you might end up having sex in a room with a wide open view of the highway, but if things get hot and heavy, you’ll get a nice, natural breeze blowing through your hair. Not to mention there’s no better feeling than sucking down an ice cold brew that was originally $14.99 for the free, you just can’t beat it.

 

I just really hope that Lamar Odom doesn’t get wind of this, because if he goes back there, we may never see him again.

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Brock Osweiler Thinks He Should Start; Says The Proof Is In His Film

SourceBEREA, Ohio — Brock Osweiler remains convinced he is a starting quarterback in the NFL.

“Absolutely,” Osweiler said Wednesday in his first interview since being traded March 10 from the Houston Texans to the Cleveland Browns. To those who doubt, Osweiler was direct: “I think the proof is in the film for the past two years.”

But if anyone might question that the film does not contain that proof, “It’s OK,” he said.

The comments carry bravado, but Osweiler spoke more with confidence than cockiness. He simply tried to convey he was not shaken by the Texans’ trading him one year after he signed a four-year, $72 million contract.

“There was a coach that I played for in college, and he told me, only worry about the things that you can control,” Osweiler said. “So from the time of the trade, that’s all I’ve done. I couldn’t be any more excited to be here. From the day I arrived, you couldn’t have been welcomed in a better way.”

You’ve got to respect Brock Osweiler for having enough nuts to put his season in Houston behind him and act like he’s the saving grace for Cleveland. I don’t think he’s wrong either. Maybe he’ll be the guy to stop the never ending carousel of shit quarterbacks that have played for the Browns over the last 10 years. I’m very curious what film he is talking about though. I remember hearing the story about how Bob Griffin used to cut his own highlights together for team meetings so they would exclude all his picks, fumbles, and horseshit passes. I imagine Osweiler brought in an ACE from Hollywood to cut together a nice little highlight package that excludes 95% of the throws he made last year.

I suppose he doesn’t have much of a choice to talk his shit now before OTA’s. If you aren’t confident that you can beat out Cody Kessler, you might as well pack your gear up and go work at Wendy’s. But I think he’s in a good position now. The Browns are a grade A dumpster fire, and no one expects them to be worth a shit. Hell, if Osweiler replicates his stats exactly from last year, he’ll have the best season for a Browns quarterback in recent memory, he may even lead them to a 3-13 record.

The most positive thing to come from all this has to be that we won’t have to hear any more “Houston, we have a problem,” jokes. The NFL Network ran that tired ass joke for 17 straight weeks during the season on top of the 50,000 tweets daily of people thinking they were the only one making the joke.

I kind of feel bad for Cody Kessler too. Guy gets put into a shit situation, gets absolutely no help/talent around him, and probably took a couple years off his life with all the hits he took. He can take some solace in the fact that the guy meant to replace him was traded to Cleveland for a 2nd round pick, a kicking tee, and a bag of balls. If that doesn’t ease the pain, I would advise watching this video every night before the start of training camp.

Game Of Thrones Drops Season 7 Trailer

Chills. I’ve only watched it twice so far so I haven’t really given it the deep dive that it needs and deserves, but what a trailer. Dragons on top of dragons, the Dothraki horde riding into battle ready to behead anything that comes their way, Jon Snow pinning Littlefinger up against the wall like he’s trying to steal his fucking lunch money, Cersei attempting to solidify her reign, Dany returning to Dragonstone, the Unsullied killing Lannister soldiers in King’s Landing, there is a lot to unpack here.

I’m kind of surprised that they decided to give a little tease to every storyline that is currently running, but it’s nice to have some clarity on where all the different chess pieces will be once the season starts. No shots of any White Walkers other than what looked to be a couple Wildlings running away from them, so I assume Benioff and Weiss are holding that massive set piece with The Night King and his army close to their chests. (Perhaps The Wall coming down??)

At this point, we need to hope that each episode gets a longer running time. I’d give my left nut to get 7 74 minute episodes. Judging by the amount of dragon footy we got, and the fact that they’re FUCKING HUGE, I think it’s safe to say each episode’s budget has been stretched quite a bit.
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I also told myself that I was going to go dark on everything Thrones until the season premiere, but I’m a weak-minded schmuck, so I’ve been scarfing this shit down the second it becomes available. We’re only 54 days out, plenty of time to go down some Reddit wormholes to get you all set for what will be arguably the greatest season of television ever.

Get ready folks, “the Great War… is here.”

2 Indy Car Drivers Robbed At Gunpoint In Taco Bell Drive-Thru

Source“Indianapolis 500 pole sitter Scott Dixon and former IndyCar Series driver Dario Franchitti were robbed at gunpoint at a Taco Bell drive-thru Sunday in Indianapolis, according to a police report obtained by ESPN.

Dixon, his wife, Emma Davies-Dixon, and Franchitti were robbed at around 9:40 p.m. local time at the restaurant, which is located less than a mile from Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Hours earlier, Dixon set the fastest qualifying time in 21 years there.

Two males, ages 15 and 14, were arrested, according to the police report. Both were charged with robbery, while the 15-year-old was also charged with resisting law enforcement. The teenagers allegedly took credit cards as well as Davies-Dixon’s wallet and identification.

In the report, detectives said surveillance cameras showed a suspicious vehicle in the parking lot before the robbery. About 30 minutes later, the report said, officers stopped the car and the passenger fled. He was apprehended by a police dog. One of the suspects was taken to Marion County Holding at Eskenazi Hospital while the other went to the local juvenile detention center. Police say one of the suspects was identified by one of the three robbery victims. The Marion County Prosecutor’s Office will review the case and make a changing decision. Dixon and Franchitti declined to comment to reporters Monday, while Chip Ganassi Racing released a statement saying the drivers are “completely fine.”

 

Usually a visit to Taco Bell is bringing you sheer bliss. Very rarely do you have to worry about shitting your pants before you actually consume a Cheesy Gordida Crunch with extra lava sauce, so I can imagine the level of shock Dario Franchitti and Scott Dixon ran into last night. Not only do these guys have to worry about barreling into a wall going 250 MPH and smashing their pelvises into a thousand tiny pieces like so:

Apparently they also have to worry about getting a gun stuck in their faces while trying to enjoy an $8 meal. Imagine if they had gone somewhere much more upscale–say Arby’s–you think they would have had to deal with this bullshit? Absolutely not, piping hot roast beef and you’re on your way.

 

How about the sack on these kids too? Obviously major league novices in the armed robbery game, but I suppose you have to start somewhere. I imagine their total haul from the robbery was very similar to that episode of South Park when Hans Gruber and co. hold up a Burger King and make off with like 24 bucks and a few Whopper’s. You want to make the haul worth it? Go stand at the Hardee’s drive-thru or some place where people are forking over more cash, instantly double your spoils.

 

It also would have been pretty cool to see one of these Indy Car drivers put the pedal to the metal and pin these kids up against a concrete wall, or in-between another car.

Can’t really blame either of them though, I know I would’ve been shaken to my core had I just had an ice cold Baja Blast ripped out of my hands while some little prick waved a gun in my face.

 

Luckily no one got hurt and those scums got nabbed pretty quickly. It’s too bad Franchitti isn’t still married to Ashley Judd, I bet she would’ve definitely been able to handle this situation. I seem to remember her being a damn good shot in Double Jeopardy.

If Scott Dixon is going to win the Indy 500, he doesn’t have a choice but to get back on the horse and head to that Taco Bell again, you can’t let a couple of fucking punks strong arm you out of eating a Chalupa. He does that, and he might be housing tacos while dousing himself with milk come Sunday.

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